Type: Absurdity, Discussion, and Vote Required.
Submitted by Stacie.
I propose that since the girls are now essential parts of the Gensic “body,” that we too are able to stake claim on our own set of phalanges. As everyone knows from countless trades and bartering discrepancies, the metacarpals are reserved for the members of the family possessing that darn Y chromosome. The lovely females are now officially submitting a request to reserve the metatarsals. Not only do we provide steadfast balance to our male companions’ lives (like toes do for us), but we also like to be called “tootsies.”
So, it just makes sense.
The titles can either be broken down by “Big Fat Toe,” “Long Freaky Toe,” “Middle Toe,” “Almost Smallest Toe,” and “Itsy Bitsy Toe With Non-Existent Toenail” or we can go with that all too familiar delightful children’s song and choose from “The Piggy That Went To The Market,” The Piggy That Went Home,” “The Piggy That Ate Roast Beef,” “The Piggy That Ate None,” and “The Piggy That Cried ‘Wee Wee Wee’ All The Way Home.”
I think this latter option is a little more fun, though you girls are going to have to be okay with the fact that you will be called a “piggy.” This way too, no one is “big and fat” or “long and freaky.” As for Ben’s lady, either Evelyn or Mrs. G. can fill in for awhile, just to keep the toe warm.
I’m calling dibs on the piggy that ate the roast beef. I have a pretty solid argument for this one too: I like to eat. And I like roast beef.
stac, i don’t think you can fathom the energy you are going to create with the submition of this agenda item! i love it!
I think that we need to spend some significant time of the family meeting comparing feet, because unlike hands, feet are often very dissimilar between any two people in this world. (i.e. you stacie might have a long freaky toe, but 4 out of 5 of mine are pretty much the same length shorty fat length)
haha love the topic and i can’t wait to vote
i call dibs on the little pinky toe until another gensic gal leaves a post on this blog, staking their claim.
Tootsies! Finally, a topic I love.
In addition to Mom and Evelyn representing the woman in Ben’s life- what about Uzbecky? Not only has Jake created 3 mix-tapes comprised of incredible songs in her name, she has her own stocking hung up every holiday season! But then again Ben does babysit for Evelyn every week, and Mom is Ben’s roommate…who will you vote for stacie?
Anyway, if I had to pick three agenda items that I am most excited about, it would have to be this one, the family chairperson, and the master angler. I mean, who’s gonna get which tootsie?
Here’s my incomplete prediction so far:
This little piggy went to market: ????
This little piggy stayed at home: Mel, she worked from home for awhile
This little piggy had roast beef: I guess stac because as she explained earlier; she likes to eat, and like roast beef.
This little piggy had none: ?????
And this little piggy went…”Wee wee wee” all the way home…: ??????
Abbie? Jess? Mom/Evelyn/Uzbecky?
Wow Matt, that one prediction of yours was pretty profound. To add to your argument for Mel being the piggy who stayed home–she does loooove to wear her house robe around…which means she loves being at home so she can wear it. That makes sense, believe me. Uzbecky crossed my mind. I thought of including her, but I didn’t know if it was a sensitive subject for Ben. I mean, he never did bring her home to meet the family. That right there is a red flag. How did it end between those two lovebirds? DID it even end? Thanks for all of your input on this agenda item Matt! I really love you and your hairy hobbit feet!
Uzbecki is the proper spelling of Ben’s long lost love.
She can party.
She can dance.
She is Ben’s hidden romance.
I’ll be “this little piggy went to the market”–the only evidence I have for this is that I enjoy shopping and I make a trip to Target at least once a week for random baby supplies…baby wipes, baby food, baby socks…
I think Evelyn should be “wee wee wee all the way home” b/c she’s probably the most consistent with crying all the way home when we have her bundled in her winter coat and crammed into her car seat, with straps pulled tight. She truly, truly hates it.
Oh, and if it counts for anything, I can pick things up and tickle Sam with my toes.
Did anyone take minutes from the family meeting? which girl is which toe? Stacie is the middle tow i know that much.